STOP YOUR PRESSES, MY RACE! LET GO OF THE CUE, STOP SCROLLING ON TIKTOK AND HOLD ON TO THE CHAIR BECAUSE WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS GOING TO BLOW YOUR BRAINS OFF AND TAKE AWAY YOUR DESIRE TO SLEEP TONIGHT!
EXPLOSIVE TITLE: THE DREAM THAT TURNED INTO A BURNING NIGHTMARE! THE SEWER OF EVERYDAY HORROR IS UNCOVERED: THE HIDDEN AND BURNED TRUTH BEHIND THE VIRAL MESSAGE “THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF DOZING CO…”. IT WASN’T WITH THE CAT, IT WASN’T WITH THE CIGARETTE! IT WAS WITH THE SILENT KILLER YOU TAKE TO BED EVERY NIGHT WHO ALMOST KILLED THE ‘BRAYAN’ IN A MELTED PLASTIC HELL! FIND OUT ABOUT THE TRAGEDY THAT TECHNOLOGY BRANDS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!
IMPACT SUBTITLE: Did your cell phone vibrate at midnight too with that incomplete notification that chilled your blood and made you morbid? Did you feel that hole in your belly when reading “These are the consequences of dozing co… See more” while your cell phone burned under your own ear? You weren’t crazy, comadre! You weren’t paranoid, buddy! That damned three ellipses was the prelude to hell itself. We went into the emergency room of the Xoco Hospital, avoiding angry guaruras and nurses, to bring you the net of the planet, to the bald and uncensored chile. The story of how a simple mistake, a habit that YOU have, turned the bedroom of a hard-working guy into a branch of hell. Prepare the bolillo for the scare because you are going to leave on your back!
BY: EL “TUNDEMÁQUINAS” RAMÍREZ /URBAN AND TECHNOLOGICAL RED CHRONICLE (FROM THE TRENCH OF DIGITAL DANGER).
CITY OF FURY (WHERE IF YOU FALL ASLEEP, THE CLOWN WILL CARRY YOU… LITERALLY).–
What a brawl, my mythotera band and today, more than ever, with Jesus in my mouth!
If just a few hours ago they felt that their soul was escaping from their body, that the pressure was going to the ground and that a vibe heavier than a Tonayán hangover on Monday morning ran through the bedroom when they saw that dirty notification in the “Feis”, they weren’t hallucinating. It was the muffled scream, the “Oh, wow!” collective of millions of Mexicans who live glued to the screen.
There it was, the incomplete phrase, the digital Devil’s hook, designed to sting our crest: “These are the consequences of dozing co… See more”.
Oh, nanita! What did that “co…” mean? With the neighbor? With the stove on? With the Brayan from the other block? My leggings! The Mexican mind, always poorly thought out and catastrophic, began to weave crazier theories than a series of low-budget drug traffickers.
But your safe servant, El Tundemáquinas Ramírez, who does not remove the patch even if the sky falls apart, sacrificed himself for you. I had three loaded coffees, put on my war reporter vest and clicked on that forbidden link that promised to reveal the darkest secrets of the Chilanga night.
And what do we find, my people? Hold on where you can, because the truth is more bitchy, more painful and more common than you imagine in your worst nightmares! It’s not about ghosts, it’s not about jealous lovers. It is about modern negligence, about the danger that we buy on the subway for twenty pesos.
THE CHRONICLE OF THE IGNEOUS BRAN: THE TRAGIC NIGHT OF “EL BRAYAN” DE IZTAPALAPA
So that you understand the caliber of the madrazo, I am going to tell you the sad but true story of Brayan Jonathan “N” (you know, to protect the victim and not let the law fall on him), a 22-year-old boy, a farmer in a warehouse from the Central de Abastos, who only wanted to rest his bones after pulling a double shift.
It was Tuesday morning. The Brayan arrived in its canton, ground. He jumped into bed without taking off his boots, took out his cell phone —, one of those models that already has a screen crashing like a spider web— and saw the dreaded notification: “Low battery: 3%”.
What did the Brayan do? What we ALL do, my race. Don’t act holy. He connected the cell phone. But be careful, this is where the pig twists its tail. He didn’t use the original charger, what’s up! He used that little colored cable that he bought in the subway car for fifteen pesos, the one that dances on the plug and makes sparks if you move it too much.
And then, he made the fatal mistake. The mistake that would cost his little boss half his face and peace of mind.
He started watching videos, he got sleepy and he fell asleep. BOOM! Therein lies the key to “snooze co…”.
THE REVELATION OF “SEE MORE”: SLEEPING WITH YOUR CELL PHONE CARRYING UNDER YOUR PILLOW!
ZAZ! HE MADE A FOOL OF HIMSELF!
The cell phone, that little device that we love so much, began to heat up. The pirate charger was putting voltage in like crazy, without control. The battery, already swollen from misuse, began to boil inside. And the Brayan, in the fifth dream, had put it UNDER THE PILLOW.
Don’t suck, Brayan! You created an oven, dad! Without ventilation, heat built up. The synthetic filling pillow began to smoke.
It was 3:33 AM, the time of the dead, when hell happened.
Neighbors say that an explosion like a gas tank was not heard, no. It was a dull sound, like a “PUFF!” followed by a terrifying hiss. And then, the screams.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
A heartbreaking scream that woke up half the colony. The lithium battery had burst. A chemical flare, blue and orange, shot straight into the face and neck of the Brayan, who was sleeping peacefully on the time bomb.
The melted plastic of the cell phone and the case stuck to his skin like a boiling splash. The pillow and mattress turned on in seconds. The room was filled with black, toxic smoke, that smell of burning chemicals that gets into your nose and doesn’t come out for a week.
THE DANTESQUE OUTCOME: RACES, BUCKETS AND THE HUESUDA HANGING AROUND
The Brayan’s boss, Doña Chonita, entered the room with buckets of water, risking her life, and managed to get her boy who was rolling on the floor, engulfed in flames, trying to remove the boiling plastic from his face.
We arrived at the hospital just as Brayan was being taken out of the ambulance. Son, my people! The image was for vomiting. I’m not going to lie to you. The right half of his face was an unrecognizable mass of live flesh, second and third degree burns reaching up to his chest. The smell of charred meat filled the waiting room. Doña Chonita was on the floor, fainting from the impact.
Doctors say he’s going to need months of surgeries, skin grafts and who knows if he’ll regain sight in one eye. And all for a little dream, all for a “, right now I disconnect it”, all for a fifteen peso cable.
THE BLOODY MORAL: WAKE UP, MEXICO, BEFORE YOU BURN!
That viral headline, that “These are the consequences of dozing co… See more”, it wasn’t a game, band. It was a warning written in blood and fire.
Today, the Brayan is intubated, fighting for his life, becoming the most painful statistic of technological negligence.
And you, who are reading this on your cell phone with 10% battery, about to go to sleep, what are you going to do? Are you going to continue playing Russian roulette with your pillow?
I’ll leave you homework there, my supporters. Throw those pirate chargers in the trash, don’t be elbows. And for what they love their holy mother most, THEY NEVER SLEEP WITH THEIR CELL PHONE IN BED! Leave him at the table, away, let him breathe.
Because next time, the viral notification could be about YOU, and the “…See more” could be the photo of your room in ashes.
WE WILL CONTINUE TO REPORT FROM THE LINE OF FIRE! SHARE THIS NOTE BEFORE YOU RUN OUT OF BATTERY AND MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE! MAY GOD CATCH US CONFESSED AND WITH OUR CELL PHONES DISCONNECTED!
