STOP THE PRESSES AND LET THE TALK OUT! NATIONAL RED ALERT! THE MYSTERY OF “SEE MORE” THAT LEFT US FROZEN IS FINALLY UNVEILED AND IT’S WORSE THAN YOU IMAGINED IN YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES!

THE HIDDEN TRUTH THAT THOSE ABOVE DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW! THAT “UNCOMFORT” YOU FELT YESTERDAY? IT COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF THE END! TERROR HAS A NAME AND IT’S ALREADY AMONG US, WALKING INSIDE YOU!

[URGENT REPORT / THE CRY OF THE PEOPLE MX – CDMX]

What’s up, my dear bronze race! My fellow Mexico City folks, northerners, coastal folks, and all of this magical and tragic Mexico! Hold on to your seats, cross yourselves three times, and get your bread roll ready for the shock, because the investigation we bring you today is not for the faint of heart or those with weak stomachs.

It’s probably happened to you too. You were there, peacefully browsing Facebook at two in the morning, scratching your beer belly while insomnia hit hard, when suddenly… BAM! That cursed image appeared on your wall, that ad that seemed harmless but hid the gateway to hell itself. White letters on a background that inspired distrust and that incomplete little phrase that’s the devil’s bait:

“If you ever felt uncomfortable…See more”

Oh my! Admit it, buddy! You felt a chill run down your spine. Didn’t your index finger tremble before you tried to click that button? We all thought the same thing: “What the heck are they going to tell me now? That I’m stressed? That I need a new mattress? That I’m getting old?” Most people brushed off and kept scrolling, thinking it was just another ad to sell miracle products. FATAL ERROR! HUGE ERROR!

Because we, here at your trusted portal “EL GRITO DEL PUEBLO MX,” where we don’t mince words and we go all out for the unvarnished truth, straight up and uncensored, we DID take the plunge. We risked Russian viruses and pop-ups to get to the bottom of this mystery. And what did we find? Hold on tight, folks, because reality surpasses even the most outrageous Hollywood fiction!

The mystery is over! Get your double shots of tequila ready because the real deal is here!

The full sentence, the one hidden from you by algorithms and big-time pharmaceutical companies to prevent collective panic, is this:

“If you’ve ever felt discomfort, a slight ‘bubbling’ or a strange pricking sensation after eating street food… you could be infested with the new biological plague scientists are calling ‘the mutant asphalt tapeworm’ that’s eating you alive from the inside out!”

HOLY SHIT! You read that right! I swear this isn’t some nonsense! Forget about the usual amoebas or salmonella that’s cured with two pills. This is a whole new level of stomach terror.

THE CHRONICLE OF HORROR: THE CASE OF “EL BRAYAN” THAT SHOOK IZTAPALAPA

To help you understand the magnitude of the mess we’re in, we have to tell you the sad and heartbreaking story of Brayan “N”, a 25-year-old guy, healthy, a hard worker in a call center, one of those who doesn’t hurt anyone.

Brayan was just like you and me. A lover of vitamin T. One Friday payday, leaving work starving, he stopped at his usual spot near the Chabacano metro station. He devoured his five suadero sandwiches with everything, his mango Boing soda, and went home, as calm as could be.

Two hours later… the “discomfort.” It wasn’t a severe pain, his boss, Doña Rosa, tells us through tears. “He just said, ‘Boss, it feels like I swallowed a vibrating cell phone, I feel a strange tingling in the pit of my stomach.’” Brayan, like a true Mexican alpha male, took some effervescent antacid, said, “It’ll pass tomorrow,” and went to sleep.

THAT DAMN DECISION COST HIM DEARLY!

Three days later, Brayan wasn’t the same Brayan. He was pale, had dark circles under his eyes, and had lost five kilos in a flash. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that he started to hallucinate. He said he heard voices inside his head.

He was rushed to the General Hospital. The doctors on duty, thinking the kid was high on some strange substance, strapped him to the stretcher. But when they did the CT scan… the radiologist almost had a heart attack right there!

EVIDENCE THAT WILL FROZEN YOUR BLOOD!

We had exclusive access to the images (which we can’t show in full because they’ll shut us down for grotesque content). It wasn’t a normal solitary creature. It was a tangled web of creatures!

Dr. Anastasio “The Quack” Pérez, a dissident doctor who operates from the shadows because he says “the healthcare mafia” wants to silence him, gave us the exclusive interview in a dark parking lot in the Doctors’ neighborhood. With a trembling voice and looking around nervously, he spilled the beans:

“Look, young journalist. They’re hiding the truth from us. That ‘discomfort’ mentioned in the ad is the first symptom. It’s when the larva attaches to the intestinal wall. But this bug isn’t normal. We believe it’s a mutation caused by the chemicals they put on cheap meat and the pollution in Mexico City. It’s resistant to lemon, habanero peppers, and even the dewormer from Simi. It’s a monster! And the worst part… when it grows, it tries to climb into the brain! ”

BAM! Take that, bearded one! Turns out Brayan wasn’t crazy after all. The bug was already messing with his brain cells!

SILENT PANDEMIC? HOSPITALS ARE OVERFLOWING!

And don’t think it’s an isolated case. Not at all! After clicking on that “See more” button, our newsroom was flooded with messages.

The case of “La Britany” in Ecatepec, who swore she felt something scratching her from the inside after eating some quesadillas of dubious origin. The case of Don Roberto, a 50-year-old taxi driver, who is now in intensive care because the parasite perforated his liver.

Public hospitals are overwhelmed, but the authorities say it’s “mass hysteria” or “post-pandemic stress.” Pure lies to keep us consuming! They want to protect the fast-food business at the expense of our health!

WARNING SIGNS: BE CAREFUL OR YOU’LL GET WHAT’S COMING TO YOU!

Guys, this is no game. That morbid clickbait was right to alarm us. It was a warning from fate. If you’ve felt that “discomfort,” DON’T IGNORE IT!

What are the actual symptoms of the “Mutant Tapeworm”?

1. The treacherous bubbling: You feel like you have a jacuzzi in your stomach, but without intense pain. It’s just weird, very weird.

2. Castaway hunger: You eat and eat, but you’re still skinny and hungry. Of course, dude, you’re feeding a zoo in there!

3. Weird cravings: You suddenly crave dirt, chalk, or raw meat. It’s the bug controlling your mind.

4. Headache and blurred vision: BEWARE! This means the parasite has already hitched a ride to your roof. Run to the emergency room!

THE CALL TO ACTION: SHARE BEFORE THEY SILENCE US!

We’ve already told you the truth. The “See more” button is no longer a secret. That viral image was warning you that your next taco order could be your last supper.

Don’t be a hero. Don’t say “we all have to die of something.” Come on, you’d be better off dying of old age than being eaten alive by some mutant worm from the capital!

We demand that the authorities stop playing dumb and tell the truth. What’s happening with street food? Where did this damned bug come from?

And you, reading this with your stomach growling, think twice before indulging in that midnight treat. Your life could depend on it!

Share this post with your gluttonous friend, your aunt who always eats out, your girlfriend who complains of a tummy ache! Save a life!

The truth has been told. Now it’s up to you. Be on your guard, my friend! And may God have mercy on us and keep us clean! We’ll keep you posted, unless the bugs get us first!