STOP THE PRESSES, DROP THE TACO, AND HOLD ON TO ANYTHING BECAUSE THE WORLD IS ABOVE ALL! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE! THE NEWS THAT NO ONE WANTED TO READ BUT THAT EVERYONE, ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE, WAS WAITING FOR WITH UTTER CURIOUSNESS, HAS JUST EXPLODED IN YOUR NOTIFICATIONS!

RED ALERT IN THE HEART (AND CROTCH) OF MEXICO! THE MOST TOXIC TRUTH BEHIND THE MYSTERIOUS AND TERRIFYING “SEE MORE” THAT FROZEN YOUR BLOOD AND MADE YOU SWEAT A FEW MINUTES AGO IS FINALLY REVEALED. IS YOUR WIFE PLAYING WITH YOU? HAS THE SIDE GETTING INTO THE KITCHEN? GET READY, BUDDY, BECAUSE THE ANSWER HIDDEN IN THOSE THREE ELLIPSES IS A TIME BOMB THAT HAS ALREADY EXPLODED FOR THOUSANDS OF MEXICANS!

[URGENT REPORT / THE VOICE OF TOXIC GOSSIP MX – FROM GROUND ZERO OF BROKEN HEARTS]

What’s up, my dear Chilanga, Norteña, Costeña and all of this magical, jealous and sometimes so damn insecure Mexico!

I’m sure it happened to you a little while ago too. You were there, relaxing on the couch after work, about to take the first swig of that ice-cold beer, or maybe nodding off on the Pantitlán Metro, packed in like sardines but with your eyes glued to your phone. And suddenly… BAM! Your phone vibrated with that fury that only heralds misfortune, 7 AM bill payments from Coppel, or worse, existential doubts about your relationship.

And there it was. That damned notification on the lock screen. An alarming red background, an icon of a broken heart or some subtle horns, and that headline, truncated by Facebook’s treacherous algorithm, that felt like a death sentence for your peace of mind:

“If your partner is cheating on you, their vag…See more”

Oh my god! No way, dude! Admit it! Your blood pressure dropped to your ankles. You felt a chill run down your spine as if La Llorona herself had breathed down your neck, saying, “Oh, my horns!” Your nerves tightened in your throat. That incomplete “vag…” was the gateway to the hell of uncertainty.

What the hell comes after “vag…”? Your mind, hardened by a thousand jealousy battles and Televisa soap operas, started racing to the worst possible scenarios. Is their laziness increasing? No! We all knew, deep down in our dirty-minded Aztec souls, that the word was VAGINA .

What happens to “it” when you get cheated on? Does it change color? Do neon signs appear saying “BUSY”? Does it start speaking unknown languages? Morbid curiosity got the better of your dignity.

Most people backed off at first. They saw comments from people arguing and tagging their exes and thought, “Nah, why look for trouble where there isn’t any?” But the seed of doubt had already been planted, my friend. And that seed grows fast with the fertilizer of insecurity.

We here at your trusted portal, LA VOZ DEL CHISME TÓXICO MX, the ones who aren’t afraid of anything and we’ll go into every nook and cranny (and even under other people’s sheets) to bring you the real deal, YES, we took the plunge. We risked catching a Russian virus or getting into a fight at home for looking at that stuff.

And what we found behind that link, family, is a modern horror story that has us trembling. Hold on tight, because the chronicle of what happens when you click the forbidden “See More” is a vivid portrait of national toxicity!

CHRONICLE OF AN OBSESSION: THE CASE OF “EL BETO” AND HOW A CLICK RUINED HIS LIFE IN NAUCALPAN

To give you an idea of ​​the mess you can get yourself into by being nosy, our reporters infiltrated a housing complex in Naucalpan to learn the sad story of Roberto, alias “El Beto,” an average office worker, and his wife Lupita, a relationship that survived on tacos al pastor on Fridays and Netflix on Sundays… until the cursed notification arrived.

It was just another Tuesday. Beto was in the bathroom, on his “throne,” scrolling aimlessly. The ad popped up. “If your partner is cheating on you, their lag… See more .” Beto glanced toward the bathroom door. Lupita was in the living room watching TV, laughing at something on her phone. “What’s she laughing so much about?” Beto wondered. And the demon of jealousy whispered in his ear: “Tap it, Beto. Tap it so you know the truth.”

And Beto stung him.

The page that opened was full of ads for pills for sexual potency and love spells, but in the middle of all that garbage, there was the supposed “scientific article” written by a certain “Doctor Lionheart” (who was surely a Russian bot).

And what did the famous phrase say in full? Hold on to your hats:

“If your partner is cheating on you, their vagina experiences a drastic change in pH due to contact with external male fluids, generating a characteristic and unmistakable odor similar to… old copper or one-peso coins!”

TAKE THAT! What a fucking load of crap! Sorry for my French, but there’s no other word for it!

Anyone with half a brain would know that’s just cheap pseudoscience to scare the gullible. But Beto wasn’t thinking with his brain that night. Beto was thinking with his gut, twisted by jealousy.

THE Descent into Madness: Operation “One Peso Coin”

From that moment on, Beto’s life became a spy mission worthy of James Bond, but in a Region 4 version and with a budget of zero pesos.

Beto became a bloodhound. He began to develop a sense of smell that even the customs dogs at the airport couldn’t match. When Lupita came home from work, Beto would hug her, not out of affection, but to give her a discreet sniff on the neck, dangerously venturing down into forbidden areas.

“What’s wrong with you, Beto? You’re acting like a dog in heat, get off me,” Lupita said, surprised by her husband’s sudden, clingy “affection.”

But the worst was yet to come. Beto began to stalk the laundry basket. He waited for Lupita to go into the shower so he could rummage through her underwear. There he was, a grown man of 35, kneeling in the bathroom, sniffing his wife’s panties, searching for the mythical scent of “old copper” that the internet promised.

Paranoia gripped him. If Lupita bought new lavender-scented fabric softener, Beto thought, “Aha! She wants to mask Sancho’s smell!” If Lupita bathed twice a day because it was unbearably hot, Beto thought, “Of course! She’s washing away the evidence.”

Everything smelled of infidelity to him. Even the change he received at Oxxo reminded him of his misfortune.

THE FINAL RUSH: WHEN THE BOMB EXPLODED

The tension in that 60-square-meter apartment was so thick you could cut it with a taco knife. Lupita knew something was wrong with Beto; she noticed he was distant, leering, with bloodshot, crazy eyes.

Friday arrived. Beto had downed a few drinks to “confront the truth.” Lupita arrived tired from work, threw down her bag, and sat on the couch.

Beto stood in front of her, swaying slightly, with his cell phone in his hand open to the cursed page.

“I know everything, Guadalupe! You can’t fool me!” Beto shouted, in a voice like something out of a cheap soap opera.

Lupita looked at him as if he’d grown another head. “What are you talking about, drunk? What do you know?”

—I know you’re cheating on me with Brayan from accounting! Or with the gym instructor! I don’t know who, but I know it!

—You’re crazy! What proof do you have?!

And that’s when Beto uttered the phrase that will go down in history as a national disgrace:

—THE PROOF IS RIGHT IN YOUR CROTCH, TRAITOR! THE INTERNET SAYS THAT IF YOU’RE UNFAITHFUL, YOUR VAGINA SMELLS LIKE PENNY COINS! AND LATELY YOU SMELL LIKE PURE CHANGE! LET ME SMELL YOU RIGHT NOW TO PROVE IT!

The silence that followed that stupid act was deafening. The upstairs neighbors stopped moving furniture. The downstairs neighbors turned off their music. The entire building held its breath.

Lupita’s face went from red with fury to purple with disbelief.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?! ARE YOU AN IMBECILE OR ARE YOU PRETENDING?!” Lupita’s scream broke the sound barrier. “Beto, you’re the dumbest man to ever walk the earth! I smell ‘weird’ because I’m on my period and I changed brands of pads, you piece of trash! And the smell of iron is from the blood, you ignorant fool!”

BAM! TAKE THAT, BEARDED GUY! Reality slapped Beto back to the ground, sending him back to elementary school.

The clickbait article didn’t mention any of that. It didn’t talk about basic biology, periods, or common infections. It only talked about infidelity to get clicks.

Lupita, dignified and empowered, stood up. “You know what, Beto? Keep your coins, your internet, and your stupidity. I don’t have to put up with a toxic, jealous man who believes a meme more than his wife of five years. See ya!”

Lupita packed her suitcase in 10 minutes and left with her mom. Beto stayed alone in the living room, smelling of cheap beer and with his cell phone in his hand, which was still showing the ad: “If your partner is cheating on you, their lag…See more” .

THE MORAL OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD: BE CAREFUL AND DON’T BE A DIGITAL JERK!

There it is, my people. That’s the terrible truth hidden behind the “See More” button. It wasn’t a magic revelation to catch cheaters. It was bait to trap insecure, foolish, and pathologically jealous people.

This message on your phone isn’t helpful; it’s pure poison for your relationship. It’s the devil’s new way of getting involved: through Wi-Fi.

The real danger is not what your partner does when you’re not around, the real danger is being naive enough to believe that a website full of viruses knows more about your relationship than you do.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TODAY?

1. Stop teasing those mothers! If you have doubts about your partner, TALK ABOUT IT like civilized people. Don’t look for answers on Google.

2. Use common sense! If it sounds too stupid to be true (like infidelity smelling like coins), IT’S BECAUSE IT’S A LIE.

3. Trust or end it! A relationship without trust is like a taco without salsa: it’s useless. If you absolutely don’t trust them, it’s best to leave, but don’t make a fool of yourself like El Beto.

Share this post! Not to spread gossip, but to save a friend who’s about to make the same mistake. Let all of Mexico know that clicking “See more” is the death of love!

Today Beto sleeps alone, clutching his pillow that smells of tears and regret. Don’t be like Beto.

WE WILL CONTINUE TO REPORT ON MORE DIGITAL TRAPS. STAY ALERT, PROTECT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, AND USE YOUR BRAIN BEFORE YOUR FINGER! THE NEIGHBORHOOD WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED BY CLICKBAIT!